Relationships: What NOT to do
Some people screw up pretty badly in relationships these days, so this will my general list of what you should not do when in a relationship. It’s all personal opinion and based on my own personal experiences..
Do not hide things.
– Hiding things never works, your significant other will find out one way or another, so be open. Don’t be afraid to let them know who you were in the past either, it’s all in the past. This is the present. Hiding things will only cause problems.
Do not be fake.
– If you act like someone else, your significant other will fall for that fake person instead of you. Trust me, I know you want to be the best girlfriend or the best boyfriend but if you’re too nice, you will be taken advantage of. Have an ego.
Do not make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.
– You don’t know what you’re going to feel in the future, so don’t start promising things. It just boosts up their expectation and causes more problems, when promises break. And absolutely do not promise forever. Let’s be realistic here, almost everything doesn’t last forever. So enjoy it for the moment.
Do not be over-protective, especially if your significant other has never done something to lose your trust.
– There is a difference between being protective and over-protective. Know it. If not, there will be fights you’ll hate.
Do not be spiteful
– Just because your significant other checks someone out, doesn’t mean you can start flirting with someone to make them jealous. Just communicate. So you both understand your limits. Communicating doesn’t mean go argue either.
Do not assume things
– Talk it out with your significant other, before assuming things. It’ll just drive them insane if you assume. Assuming only leads to bad thoughts. You would never think good of any situation and it always leads you to think of the worst possible scenario. You will end up looking stupid or feeling bad if your assumptions are wrong.
Do not settle in
– I mean if you’re both married and financially stable then, by all means, go ahead. But if you guys are having problems, moving in together shouldn’t even be a thought in your mind right now. Fix things first, and wait a few more years. You’re still young. Settling in at this stage will cause stress, difficulty, and a lot of other problems.
Most of you guys do this because you look forward to spend your whole life together, but no. I have been in that situation a couple times. You’re only going to find yourself depressed, stressed, and lonely. Just live life for the moment. Enjoy your relationship right now: it may or may not last. Just enjoy it for the moment so that way, you’ll be glad that it happened at all, rather than disappointed that it ended.
*Disclaimer: This is just my personal opinion and not a checklist. It’s just what attracts me.
There is more than just looks that can catch my attention.
Someone with great self confidence is a definite turn on. They show their confidence and not cockiness around people. Someone who knows what to say and when to say it.
- Family Oriented
Someone who lets all potential lovers know the they put family and education before them. This not may seem like a turn on but it’s important to me that someone cares that much about family and takes it seriously.
Someone who can hold a deep and thoughtful conversation with me for a really long time without having any awkward silences. Someone who makes 3 hours feel like it was only one because our conversation was that great.
Someone who has the brains and the intelligence. Someone who’s book smart and street smart. Someone who knows what they want. Someone who sets goals, never gives up, and strives to finish them. Someone who’s dedicated and passionate about what they do.
- Being Real
What does that mean? Well someone’s who is real to me is straight up and honest with me. Someone who doesn’t try to act like someone else to get my attention. Someone who knows their wrongs from rights. Someone who doesn’t have to always be all sweet, corny, and different around me and still manage to make me fall head over heals.
To me, the corny thing is a little overdone nowadays. Guys do it all the time when they first meet a girl and sometimes, the next thing you know, they turn into douchebags. Someone easy would fall for that. Someone intelligent would not.
Being a little too complex drives people crazy. Trust me, it even drives the people you’re not dating but hang around with crazy. To me, it’s a turn off, but to you it might be different. Then again, this is my blog so I’m free to say whatever right? Simplicity is what truly keeps me sane. Having someone I don’t have to worry about all the time, someone who doesn’t worry too much about me. A lot of people are really complex nowadays, and can never differentiate between their wants and needs. They contradict themselves all the time and never realize it. Someone simple can differentiate between the two.
And those are the turn ons, and what I’m attracted to.
Listen. I know you guys don’t know this side of me but I have been through a couple relationships before. And today, what I’m trying to get out in this blog post is that relationships aren’t always what you see in movies. I feel like a lot of people are trying to fall in love nowadays. I know people who even force themselves to fall into love just because they want a relationship. No. That is where people go wrong. You should get into a relationship when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
Another thing is that a lot people in their mid-20s and lower think that the relationship they get in is going to be lasting forever and once they lose their significant other, they lose everything. This is also where people go wrong, they take everything so seriously that when something ends, it’s the end of the world for them. We all know we’re stronger than that. We have futures ahead of us, caring friends, and a loving family. Our pasts are there to make us stronger and there for us to learn. Every time you fall, get back up and try again.
This is to everyone who probably just broke up and think they were just used the whole time because they were really serious about the relationship when the other wasn’t. It’s common. Trust me, been there done that. Time will heal all wounds and you will grow stronger. You only have a future to look ahead to so get back on your feet and smile at that mirror. Honestly, the best thing to do is to focus on yourself right now, it’s actually a great feeling.
If your ex doesn’t care, then why should you right? Let go of the past, look ahead, and keep your head up.
Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not hating on relationships or anything. They’re actually pretty great. But relationships aren’t meant to last at this age. I think people especially around their mid-20’s and lower are taking it too seriously these days and just end up hurting themselves. It’s unhealthy! You have to learn to love yourself first before loving someone else. Plus before taking everything seriously, both of you should be financially stable for this to turn out better, or else you’ll just run into problems. Being financially stable doesn’t mean you have a part time job, you’re trying to pay for college, and trying to have a serious relationship all at the same time. Things can really go wrong.
See, people in their 20’s keep saying they’re mature for things like this but no. You’re still young. I’m still young, I’m still learning, I’m still growing, I’m not afraid to admit that. Yeah I’m single and I get lonely sometimes but I still wake up knowing that I’m being productive, going to school, going to work, doing music, working towards my future, and I have wonderful people in my life that support me. That in itself is success right there.
So when it comes to relationships, why rush it? Why have the want to fall in love right away? Just focus on yourself and maybe one day love will just come. Relationships shouldn’t be your priority right now. Working toward your future should.
Let relationships be an add to your happiness, not the base of your happiness.