Reality Check on “Love”
Love. What does love mean these days? A word? A poem? A relationship? A broken heart? A never ending struggle between two souls? Whatever your interpretation is, the media and the people around us have changed our definition of love, to the point that it just isn’t the same anymore. Why? Because nowadays, we don’t find the answer ourselves. Instead, we let others persuade us, guide us, give us their own perspective on love and from there, we shape it, mold it, and make it to be however others vision it. The idea of love isn’t original anymore, it’s being imitated and duplicated by the minds of millions of people.
How, you might ask? Simple, because we are so bombarded with all these ideas of true love, we can’t even define love by ourselves. Like a maze, we take on so many approaches before we find that path. With people who characterize the word ‘Love’ for us, we steal the idea and base upon it. And if it doesn’t cross paths with how love is set out to be like, we disallow it. You can’t let others characterize love for you, you have to define it yourself. It’s like asking “what do I have to do to become a great beatboxer?” You are already making a big mistake here, asking others to define it for you. Nobody defines you, you define yourself.
So no matter how people define “love”, it will never be as insightful, pure, sincere, and unadulterated as you would vision it yourself to be.
Therefore, I end my argument here, and reiterate myself – vision love yourself.
True love never has a happy ending. That’s because true love doesn’t have an ending. A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes in the promise of love, no matter how long the time and how far the distance.
Let’s change people’s definition of love.
The best kind of relationships
Are ones that happen unexpectedly. Ones where you met by accident but stayed on purpose. Ones where you can be true to yourself. Ones where you can be comfortable in. Ones where you can act like lovers and bestfriends at the same time. Ones that have more playful moments than serious arguments. Ones where you know both of you will never intentionally hurt each other. Ones where there’s no judgement of the past being made. Ones that have nothing but trust. Ones that you could see lasting for a long time. Ones where you understand each other. Ones without drama. Ones where everyone looks at and thinks “damn, I wish I had that”. Ones that people look up to. Ones that make you feel happier than you already are. Ones that add positivity and happiness to your life.
Because that, my friend, is my relationship.
Relationships: What NOT to do
Some people screw up pretty badly in relationships these days, so this will my general list of what you should not do when in a relationship. It’s all personal opinion and based on my own personal experiences..
Do not hide things.
– Hiding things never works, your significant other will find out one way or another, so be open. Don’t be afraid to let them know who you were in the past either, it’s all in the past. This is the present. Hiding things will only cause problems.
Do not be fake.
– If you act like someone else, your significant other will fall for that fake person instead of you. Trust me, I know you want to be the best girlfriend or the best boyfriend but if you’re too nice, you will be taken advantage of. Have an ego.
Do not make permanent decisions on temporary feelings.
– You don’t know what you’re going to feel in the future, so don’t start promising things. It just boosts up their expectation and causes more problems, when promises break. And absolutely do not promise forever. Let’s be realistic here, almost everything doesn’t last forever. So enjoy it for the moment.
Do not be over-protective, especially if your significant other has never done something to lose your trust.
– There is a difference between being protective and over-protective. Know it. If not, there will be fights you’ll hate.
Do not be spiteful
– Just because your significant other checks someone out, doesn’t mean you can start flirting with someone to make them jealous. Just communicate. So you both understand your limits. Communicating doesn’t mean go argue either.
Do not assume things
– Talk it out with your significant other, before assuming things. It’ll just drive them insane if you assume. Assuming only leads to bad thoughts. You would never think good of any situation and it always leads you to think of the worst possible scenario. You will end up looking stupid or feeling bad if your assumptions are wrong.
Do not settle in
– I mean if you’re both married and financially stable then, by all means, go ahead. But if you guys are having problems, moving in together shouldn’t even be a thought in your mind right now. Fix things first, and wait a few more years. You’re still young. Settling in at this stage will cause stress, difficulty, and a lot of other problems.
Most of you guys do this because you look forward to spend your whole life together, but no. I have been in that situation a couple times. You’re only going to find yourself depressed, stressed, and lonely. Just live life for the moment. Enjoy your relationship right now: it may or may not last. Just enjoy it for the moment so that way, you’ll be glad that it happened at all, rather than disappointed that it ended.
*Disclaimer: This is just my personal opinion and not a checklist. It’s just what attracts me.
There is more than just looks that can catch my attention.
Someone with great self confidence is a definite turn on. They show their confidence and not cockiness around people. Someone who knows what to say and when to say it.
- Family Oriented
Someone who lets all potential lovers know the they put family and education before them. This not may seem like a turn on but it’s important to me that someone cares that much about family and takes it seriously.
Someone who can hold a deep and thoughtful conversation with me for a really long time without having any awkward silences. Someone who makes 3 hours feel like it was only one because our conversation was that great.
Someone who has the brains and the intelligence. Someone who’s book smart and street smart. Someone who knows what they want. Someone who sets goals, never gives up, and strives to finish them. Someone who’s dedicated and passionate about what they do.
- Being Real
What does that mean? Well someone’s who is real to me is straight up and honest with me. Someone who doesn’t try to act like someone else to get my attention. Someone who knows their wrongs from rights. Someone who doesn’t have to always be all sweet, corny, and different around me and still manage to make me fall head over heals.
To me, the corny thing is a little overdone nowadays. Guys do it all the time when they first meet a girl and sometimes, the next thing you know, they turn into douchebags. Someone easy would fall for that. Someone intelligent would not.
Being a little too complex drives people crazy. Trust me, it even drives the people you’re not dating but hang around with crazy. To me, it’s a turn off, but to you it might be different. Then again, this is my blog so I’m free to say whatever right? Simplicity is what truly keeps me sane. Having someone I don’t have to worry about all the time, someone who doesn’t worry too much about me. A lot of people are really complex nowadays, and can never differentiate between their wants and needs. They contradict themselves all the time and never realize it. Someone simple can differentiate between the two.
And those are the turn ons, and what I’m attracted to.