The feeling of falling in love.
Look, I am no love-guru but whether good or bad; wrong or right, these are my thoughts and opinions.
A lot of people confuse the meaning of falling in love with love and falling in love with a person. Loving someone and being in love with someone is also confused by many.
The media, society, and people around us hype up the meaning of being in love too much that so many people are “in love” with their partners these days, even before knowing much about them. Falling in love with “love” is like falling in love with the spark, the feelings, the emotions. Most importantly, it is being over excited about the idea of falling in love, but not with the person you are in a relationship with. And sadly, not much reality is in it. It is only your imagination, thinking you’re in love with someone, when you’re really just in love with the idea of love.
Loving is simple. You can love anyone. I love my family, friends, life, etc. When you love someone, you start caring about them. You love them because they’re always there for you, or sometimes you learn to love them because they’re family.
Being in love with someone is different. You fall in love with everything about them - the good and the bad. You love every word and action made by them. You love everything they hate and love about themselves. You memorize every little thing about them even when you have a bad memory. You want them in your past, present, and future. They are someone you can share your life with. You believe that fate has destined you to be with them. They make you happier than you have ever been. You could see yourself going to the depths of the earth and pass through infinite obstacles with them and still be together. You know you’re perfect for each other. You know this is the best feeling ever. They complete you. You feel like the luckiest person in the world to be able to finally find the one.
To finish this off, I’ll say this: True love never has a happy ending. That is because true love doesn’t have an ending. A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes in the promise of love, no matter how long the time, how big the problem, and how far the distance.
I am in love with you.
There’s someone who likes you, buuuuuut you don’t like them the same way and you don’t want to hurt them. OR you keep getting a facebook message, text, or call from someone that you don’t like, how they even got your number? I don’t know. But the fact is they just keep hitting you up. What do you do in a situation like that!?
Avoid eye contact/walk faster when you see them. Pretend you didn’t see them.
When they finally get your attention or just stop you out of nowhere even after avoiding eye contact and walking faster and start talking to you, what do you do? You give them vague, short, uninteresting answers.
If that still doesn’t bore them, start talking about other people and explaining how attractive they are. Even better, describe someone else that are the exact opposite of them. Maybe they’ll get the point then.
And if they STILL don’t get the point, and they ask if you want to hang, then tell them you got other plans or right now is not a good time.
And if they’re STILL consistent to the point that they’re asking you to be in a relationship with you. Say you’re not ready for a relationship.
If you’re in a relationship, and they’re trying to get you, tell them you’re in a relationship. Start describing your lover. Don’t stop talking about your lover till they get the point.
If you’re the person who’s hitting them up, STOP! You’re making yourself look bad! You’re putting so much effort in to get nothing back!? That’s not fair. You’re lowering your value. You know how much you’re worth, and you’re not worth 0 effort, when you’re giving so much of yours. Just drop them.
A lot of people have a situation where someone likes them, and they don’t like them back. How to tell them you don’t like them can get complicated sometimes. If you tell them the wrong way, it might suck tremendously. Let’s be honest, we don’t want to hurt our friends. Even if we don’t want to be with them, you don’t want to crush their hopes and dreams. A lot of us kinda just let that happen.
Always tell them that they’re like a sibling to them. I’m pretty sure they’ll know that you don’t want to get involved with them at all whatsoever because you wouldn’t want to get into a relationship with a sibling.
Use the word friend. “It’s amazing to have a friend like you, I would never want to compromise that.”
Tell them about other people, or always talk about how you have a crush on someone else. It might make them like you more.. but I guess it’s kind of hinting at them that you don’t want to be with them.
Tell them that they would make a really good boyfriend or girlfriend.. with someone else. Or tell them they would look cute with *insert name*. Just always push them away somehow.
Stop hugging them. If they come toward you with a hug, just give them a high five. Make sure there’s no chance for them to like you further.
If they’re one of your best friends, I guess the best thing you could do is be completely honest with them. Do not be a jerk about it, just tell them why you don’t like them. You really don’t want ruin the friendship because that can happen sometimes.
When someone tells you that they like you, and after you friendzone them, there could be a little separation in the friendship. Sometimes they don’t want to talk to you because they’re hurt. Be prepared to talk to them less.
How to be in a relationship
A lot of people get into relationships prematurely. We’re taught at a young age that it’s okay to get in and out of relationships. We’re taught that if that person is not good enough for us, we got to get out of that relationship. Sometimes you shouldn’t get into a relationships too fast because some people aren’t ready for it. If you’re still hitting up people you used to see, hitting up your ex, hitting up anyone for that matter then you probably shouldn’t be getting into a relationship.
The problem these days is that there are some people that are greedy and want attention from anyone. It doesn’t matter where they get it or who they get it from. If you’re getting into a serious relationship, there should be one person that you’re physically, mentally, and emotionally involved with. The problem is that some people think that it’s okay to do that with other people and that ruins relationships. If you still want someone else, if you’re still crushing on someone else, if you think that there’s someone else better for you, then you probably shouldn’t get into a relationship. You don’t want to get into a relationship just to get out of it.
Get to know a person before you get into a relationships because if you don’t, and all of a sudden they change their minds in the middle of the relationship, that’ll fuck things up. That’s why you shouldn’t have gotten into a relationship to begin with. Sometimes people get into relationships for the wrong reasons. It’s okay to be attractive but if you’re basing your relationship solely on physical attraction, then you’re doing it wrong. Take your time, get to know them before jumping into relationships. It’s stupid to get into relationships just to break up. Make sure you know that person before you get involved with them.
It’s just so annoying to me that people are getting in and out of relationships these days just because they don’t know what they want. If you’re with someone and you want to make it last, treat them well. Treat them how you want to be treated. The effort you had in the beginning of the relationship shouldn’t change. Just because you have them doesn’t mean you won’t lose them.
Don’t get into relationships if you’re not ready for that shit. If you want to be single, be single, don’t be playing with other people’s heads. And most importantly, don’t cheat. Cheating is terrible. You’re going to fuck up that person for the rest of their lives. If they were really into you and you cheated on them, you’re hurting their trust. And they’ll have the biggest struggle to find trust for someone ever again.
How can you tell if they’re a player?
- She acts different around her friends and in public. For example, if you’re with a bunch of people and she’s not as sweet to you as she was when you guys were alone. When you’re in public, you’re just a friend to her. That is one big sign. She doesn’t want to make it public because she has others that she needs to take care of. And she probably does the same thing to them too. If she doesn’t show you off, then she might just be playing you.
- She never calls you by your name. Why? She wants to get this connection – some nickname thing going on. She only calls you one name (babe) because she doesn’t want to confuse you with everyone else she’s playing. Nicknames are universal, if she calls everyone the same nickname, she won’t lose. Especially if she calls you the nickname too soon.
- She can never make time for you. There is never a lot of time that she spends with you because she has to make everyone else happy so she has to fit you into their schedule. Or if you make plans and she cancels last minute with a stupid excuse.
- If there’s a rumour about her that she’s a player and all your friends are telling you that she’s a player then you should take their advice. You might think this girl all of a sudden changed for you (and that could happen) but that chance is highly unlikely for a player. If she’s a player, and everyone says she’s a player and warns you about it, why would she change for you?
- If she’s calling you up to chill at 2AM in the morning. You probably know why you’re that option.
- If you tweet at her or post on her Facebook wall and she deletes it, doesn’t acknowledge it, or get a text from her saying what’s up, then you know she’s trying to keep you on the down low.
- She only texts you at night or replies 9 hours later probably because she’s with someone else in the day.
- She doesn’t want you to touch her phone. If you reach for something near her phone and she freaks out then she is probably hiding something from you.
- She tries to respond to texts while turning to the side so you can’t see who she’s texting.
- If all her friends are players, then most likely she’s also a player. Not saying that’s always the case but it’s likely.
- If you’re important to her then she’ll introduce you to her friends, her family. If she doesn’t want you to meet any of them, then you’re most likely not good enough, and you’re just an option.
- If she’s serious with you, she’ll go out of her way to make time to be with you. If you call her or text her, she will answer right away.
How to get a girl
(This can be aimed towards how to get a guy as well)
The first thing you want to do is get her attention.
If she doesn’t know if you even exist, then everything you do from this point won’t even matter. Dressing well, and looking good doesn’t always get her attention. You have to get over your shyness and say hi, make yourself stand out. If you get her attention once, she’ll be looking out for you.
When they seem like they’re having a good time when you talk to them.
First impressions are everything. You may think you’re the most boring person in the world but if you can make her think you’re interesting, you’re on the right track. The best thing you can do in a conversation is to get her to ask you questions. If she’s asking questions, then it shows that she’s trying to get to know you. Don’t tell her everything at once. You got to do this while being flirty at the same time. Make her enjoy her time talking to you. Every time she thinks about you, happiness has to enter her brain.
Don’t be afraid to crack a couple jokes.
The best thing at the beginning of flirting is inside joking. You start creating this connection. You’ll have this thing only you guys have in common, this thing that only you guys joke about. The more inside jokes, the closer you’ll get.
You got to make it known that you are available.
If she wants you, she could try to get you. But with doing this, you got to make it known that you are available but hard as hell to get with. You got to be desirable. Don’t be too cocky. Confidence is good, but not cocky because that’s kind of a turn off. You got to be okay with yourself.
Fluid conversations are the best.
Be comfortable with yourself. Do not be scared when talking to her. Don’t be scared to bump her, touch her arm, etc.
Don’t give it up too soon.
Be mysterious. If you want this girl to be serious with you and have a future with you, don’t give it up so soon. If all she wants to do is get in your pants, don’t let her. That’s just going to lower your chance. Play a little bit of hard to get.
Don’t be afraid to act stupid around her.
Sometimes the girl just wants to have fun and be funny around you so that they’re more comfortable with you. But doing this, you got to act stupid and make it known that you can be intelligent too. Have some fun and jokes but have serious conversations as well. Have intellectual conversations. Talk about the real shit, don’t be fake about it. Talk about something close to you. Open up. If you open up, then she’ll be open and it’ll bring you guys closer.
Don’t be afraid to try to look good.
There’s nothing wrong with putting something nice on and smelling nice for the girl you’re trying to get. First impressions are important. How she sees you in the beginning is very crucial so don’t be afraid to look attractive. Physical attraction is always first, then comes the inner beauty of a person.
And if you can get her friends to like you, then that’s a big plus.
And make sure she’s available too, you don’t want to home wreck someone that’s already in a relationship.
As if the past 4 years were only yesterday. From the day I stepped up looking up at that big sign “Welcome to Humber College…” ‘til the day I glanced back at it knowing I am done. Everything seems to pass by so fast. I can’t believe it, it’s still so overwhelming. I remember exactly the first day of my First year, sitting by myself at break not knowing anyone, daydreaming about the day I’ll have to dream back about this day that I’m sitting here dreaming about. Does that sound crazy? Nope. I’m doing it right now. Let’s rewind.
Four years ago, I was not, and definitely, who I was now. I was unkempt, dirty, annoying, and totally unaware of my responsibility as a student. It was too hot to even think about listening to the speakers explain how my next four years were going to be. High expectation from the profs, but mine was set as low as ground zero. Back then, games and TV were my priority, school wasn’t.
Time flew by. Next thing I know it was the end of the second year. Where was I? Still at the same school surrounded by the same people doing the same tedious jobs as usual. Even my poor academic reports reflected my lack of interest in school. Oh well, I was too young. Why should I care, right? Wrong. Everything started catching up to me. My mind grew a little more conscious about school.
I almost failed second year but thank God, I didn’t. It was then that I finally realized where I’m standing in life. I was on the edge of corrupting myself. Third year arrived. I got more and more serious about school, I woke up.
By the end of the year, I changed my life around. Realized, I should really focus more on school than anything else around me. I brought my grades up, and reassured my responsibility as a daughter and a student. My marks went up, I realized who my real friends were and they had more respect for me than ever before. I had myself back, and most important, I was better than my past.
Today, I can’t help but to be proud of who I’ve become. I go around talking to kids who are hitting that same stage I was years ago and encourage them to be better and work harder in life for whatever their future endeavors put them through. That’s why I enjoy spending one-on-one time with people, or a group, and tell my past. It might not sink into some of you, but believe me, it’s so much more when you have to experience it yourself. Ask me to sit down and talk to you and I’ll gladly do.
Reality Check on “Love”
Love. What does love mean these days? A word? A poem? A relationship? A broken heart? A never ending struggle between two souls? Whatever your interpretation is, the media and the people around us have changed our definition of love, to the point that it just isn’t the same anymore. Why? Because nowadays, we don’t find the answer ourselves. Instead, we let others persuade us, guide us, give us their own perspective on love and from there, we shape it, mold it, and make it to be however others vision it. The idea of love isn’t original anymore, it’s being imitated and duplicated by the minds of millions of people.
How, you might ask? Simple, because we are so bombarded with all these ideas of true love, we can’t even define love by ourselves. Like a maze, we take on so many approaches before we find that path. With people who characterize the word ‘Love’ for us, we steal the idea and base upon it. And if it doesn’t cross paths with how love is set out to be like, we disallow it. You can’t let others characterize love for you, you have to define it yourself. It’s like asking “what do I have to do to become a great beatboxer?” You are already making a big mistake here, asking others to define it for you. Nobody defines you, you define yourself.
So no matter how people define “love”, it will never be as insightful, pure, sincere, and unadulterated as you would vision it yourself to be.
Therefore, I end my argument here, and reiterate myself – vision love yourself.
True love never has a happy ending. That’s because true love doesn’t have an ending. A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes in the promise of love, no matter how long the time and how far the distance.
Let’s change people’s definition of love.